Let me share my shame secrets with you

What do you feel shamed about? Listen, we all have shame. You are definately not alone.

I am talking about the intensely painful feeling of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
I have carefully kept my shame secrets. From everyone. Even from my very best female friends and from my husband. Who is my best friend.

What would they think of me if they found out that I have told white lies to my friends even though I pride myself of being honest and telling the truth.

I am not always comfortable being in a swimsuit (especially after childbirth) at the same time I tell my daughter she is beautiful inside out and should never worry about how she looks.

Sometimes I let my kids watch cartoons for three hours straight even though I tell other people that we don’t have a tv (Which is true, they just watch them on the computer).

I sometimes go to the store and buy candy and eat it in the car even though I have told my kids that sugar is bad for their health. I feel shame when they yell at people in the grocery store with coke in their shopping carts. Coke is very bad for your health! Especially knowing I have empty candy bags hidden in my car.

When I feel shamed I eat food and especially candy to take the edge off. I emotionally eat to numb the painful feelings of shame. Food has been my form of abuse.
Today I am thankfully aware of how I use food to numb the pain of shame.

I have a choice. To numb and help shame grow. Or pick up the phone and speak about my shame with someone I love and I know will not judge me.

When you share your shame. It is gone. Forever.
Stop the abuse. Speak your shame.

Love and light,

Dísa

You are freer than you think

When we doubt our worthiness we start hustling for it by:

Performing
Perfecting
Pleasing
and
Proving

We don´t stay true to who we are and what we believe in and start looking outside of ourselves for approval.

Instead of being true to ourselves and what we believe in. We ask others: “Who do you want me to be and what do you want me to believe? ”

When we can let got of what other people think and accept ourselves. Fully.
We gain access to our worthiness

Your biggest obstacle.
Is you.

Free yourself.

Courage

Say I love you. First

Reveal your creation. Bare your soul.

Gaze passionately into the eyes of a complete stranger.

Make the jump without being ready.

Say no. When others expect yes.

Tell your best friend. That he is in fact the man. You have loved deeply. Since you first met.

Admit mistakes.

Say I am sorry.

Take the help.

Swim against the stream.

Take the same breath of courage.

Like you have done before.

Again and again.

 Disa Dalberg

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If you hide the pain. Joy won´t find you

 

Suddenly something deep down in my soul.

Softly whispered.

Cry darling. It was not your fault.

Trust me. You are safe now.

Years of rage. Self-blame. Hiding.

Caged by painful. Repressed emotions.

Desperately whising it hadn´t happened to me.

Hoping my trauma wasn´t real.

Emotionally exhausted, From running away.

I must find the courage. To face my darkness.

Rip your heart open. My love.

Break the silence. Allow the light to enter.

Gently wipe the tears from your face.

For you can now. Freely.

Find joy again.

Poem written by Dísa Dalberg

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