What do you feel shamed about? Listen, we all have shame. You are definately not alone.
I am talking about the intensely painful feeling of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
I have carefully kept my shame secrets. From everyone. Even from my very best female friends and from my husband. Who is my best friend.
What would they think of me if they found out that I have told white lies to my friends even though I pride myself of being honest and telling the truth.
I am not always comfortable being in a swimsuit (especially after childbirth) at the same time I tell my daughter she is beautiful inside out and should never worry about how she looks.
Sometimes I let my kids watch cartoons for three hours straight even though I tell other people that we don’t have a tv (Which is true, they just watch them on the computer).
I sometimes go to the store and buy candy and eat it in the car even though I have told my kids that sugar is bad for their health. I feel shame when they yell at people in the grocery store with coke in their shopping carts. Coke is very bad for your health! Especially knowing I have empty candy bags hidden in my car.
When I feel shamed I eat food and especially candy to take the edge off. I emotionally eat to numb the painful feelings of shame. Food has been my form of abuse.
Today I am thankfully aware of how I use food to numb the pain of shame.
I have a choice. To numb and help shame grow. Or pick up the phone and speak about my shame with someone I love and I know will not judge me.
When you share your shame. It is gone. Forever.
Stop the abuse. Speak your shame.
Love and light,
Dísa